It's Like Pulling Off a Band-Aid

I have been meaning to create a blog to document the adventures of our "new" life. I have been thinking and thinking of what to call it, what to write about and who to let in on my new world. There are times when I want to hide away from everyone and everything, and live in deep denial of the long and winding road ahead. In the same moment, there come times that I want nothing but to be around anyone and everyone. Busy. Always on the go. Never resting. Distracted. Yet, still- Alone. I wrote to Brett the other day, explaining that all the while, I still have this Brett shaped hole in my heart. It cannot be filled with family. It cannot be filled with friends. It cannot be filled with shopping, the movies, going out to eat, working out, teaching. Nothing but him. His smile, his laugh, his big, strong hands. Those are the only things that can fill it. So, where do I go from here. Do I sit and wallow in sorrow and sadness until February third? Do I hide out in my house and whittle away to a mere nothing? Or, do I tighten my belt, pull up my boot straps and show the world my strength, integrity and honor? I am choosing the latter. It won't be an easy fight, but it is a battle I will pursue. I won't be alone. I have the most amazing support system of family, in laws, friends and coworkers that have kept the prayers coming, the hugs available and the smiles to light up the room. They are my squadron, my team, my support unit. I am ever thankful for them; I would not be able to get up each morning without them.

This blog is undeniably dedicated to the most amazing, honorable, impressive and strong man I know- my husband. He inspires me, encourages me and loves me although miles and voice separate us- distance cannot quench our love.

Furthermore, I dedicate this blog as a testimony to God's power, faith and grace through this time- my "little while" time if you will. There is no doubt that nothing, not one thing, is possible without Him. My life is to Honor the King. I pray that my words continue to point glory, honor and praise to Him.